I could write a book about my mother. She’s hilarious, uninhibited, and a hero. And if you’re friends with me long enough, you will hear a fair share of “Laura stories”. She’s this enigma of hilarity and truth saying. And if you don’t know...we love her like crazy.
If there is one word to describe her, it’s free. She lives her life. Shows up to conversations with her opinions. She’s unapologetic in her convictions. And she is who she is.
There are three gifts that she has given me as I have journeyed into motherhood. Many more actually, but these three are the most impactful. Gifts that I believe have changed the way that I mother. Im going to share the first one today.
My mother has had an incredible life. A true nothing to something. A childhood riddled with the wildest stories. Some that are so hysterical that they are unbelievable. Some stories of pain. Stories of trauma. Stories that carry the truest human experience of survival of the fittest.
When she hit her bottom, she went on a healing journey. This journey started because of Jesus and a dear friend that is still her most cherished. That journey took years. It wasn’t immediate. It wasn’t one perfectly formulated prayer. It was a process.
It was ministry over and over, and quiet times in the secret place with God.
Some of it heavy and intense. Some of it taken in stride as it came up. Leaning into triggers instead of running from them. She was just determined to not be stuck in her pain, and kept her heart tender to hear God call her heart forward over and over again.
To restore her bit by bit.
This is a gift to me, because she felt the pain of her past and stopped bleeding from it. God led her into a journey of beautiful heart work that gave family a new meaning to her.
She was able to change the generations after her. She set the stage for all of us to have a different life and family experience. The wounds didn’t bleed into us.
I grew up with a mother than was very openly in the healing process. But pain was not intentionally repeated. And she gave us a childhood that was so safe, full of love and adventure. That even now when she shares stories of her childhood, it’s the most unrelateable experience to me...because she gave me such a different story. She gave me freedom to be a child. To be innocent. And sheltered us away from the dark pockets in the world.
When I became a mom, I was free to define motherhood and decide the type of mother that I wanted to be not because of pain or bitterness...but because my heart has been nourished by the woman that raised me. I didn’t spend years plowing through pain to find out who I was. I began motherhood whole.
Not reeling from mother wounds, I got to just be me, even though I’m polar opposite of her in almost every way. She didn’t pressure me to be like her or anyone else. She let me be myself. She let me explore motherhood and my convictions about raising my kids.
Her healing gave me a new start, a fresh perspective. And a heart so big to see beauty cultivated in every day life. Her healing gave me the ability to mother with such intention to nurture my children’s hearts.
To see them revealed.
To bless them.
To love them without conditions.
To give them freedom without a heavy hand of control in their lives.
To trust them.
To invest in them.
To create a life where we ALL thrive.
There is a quote that I love and have always thought of my mom when I read it again. And it says:
“Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it”- Julie Harper.
When we are afraid of pain, we run or we numb. And we use many unhealthy strategies to cope. It never actually leaves. And over time our hearts become sicker and sicker. Bleeding into our relationships. Causing more pain to other people. And perpetuating cycles.
My mom ended the cycle.